From the egalitarian that is Christina Hoff Sommers.
Feminists have long used the phrase “No means no” as an attack towards men, implying that most men will assault and rape any woman that they find attractive. They believe that if a man expresses he is sexually interested in a woman, he refuses to take “no” for an answer and will use either physical, emotional, or other forms of coercion to effectively force a woman to have sex with him against her will, which is what rape is.
I believe it came about due to feminists having a very broad and strange definition of what rape is.
Personally I believe rape for a woman is when:
1) A man physically forces himself upon an unwilling woman.
2) Powerful threats like “I will destroy your career if you do not have sex with me” or “I will divorce and ruin you” or “I will kill you or someone you love”
That to me is rape.
Feminists believe these things count as rape:
1) A man and woman are both equally drunk and have sex that they both enjoy.
The woman has been raped because a woman cannot consent to sex (and anything) when under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
The man has not been raped because a man is able to consent to anything under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
2) A woman and her boyfriend/husband are lying in bed. He starts making sexual advances on the woman, like biting her ear or groping her breasts. She tells him “Stop, I’m too tired for sex” and he goes “Come on baby” and soon becomes much more sexual, meaning he starts to use his penis or perhaps touches her vagina. She is too tired and thinks to herself “Whatever, might as well just get it over with so he’ll stop pestering me for sex.”
This scenario was actually something real that happened and feminists claim it is rape, or at the very least sexual assault.
This is actually an interesting and difficult scenario to analyze correctly. I do not believe it comes anything near to being rape, but when considered sexual assault, it becomes a really grey-area situation.
Had she firmly said “NO!” again and he continued making advances, then yes it would be sexual assault/rape. However, her initial weakly replied answer made it seem like she herself wasn’t too sure and of course just because you are tired doesn’t mean you can’t still do something.
Problematic situation but even more problematic when feminists classify that as rape.
Which comes to the interesting thing.
Feminists claim men need to respect when a woman says No, it means No. Do not continue trying to convince me or argue against me. My no means no and end of discussion.
I agree with that.
Feminists do not agree with that.
When young women say “I am not a feminist” / “I do not believe in feminism” do feminists say “I respect your “NO” answer”?
Instead they try to coerce women into identifying as feminists through deceitful means. In fact, they mock and demean these women in a very patronizing manner, telling them “You are uneducated and ignorant of what feminism is. Let me help you change your mind.”
If that is acceptable, then so too is a man telling a woman “You are being ignorant about sex. It is a very natural act and you think you’re tired but when you start feeling good you’ll change your mind. ”
Not to mention telling someone “If you don’t have sex with me, you’re a loser, you’re pathetic, nobody will ever want you” is emotional abuse that leads to rape.
Likewise, feminists are basically telling young women how stupid they are for not agreeing with the feminists.
The one counter argument I have FOR/in favor of feminists is that they are trying to inform/educate young women who lack knowledge about feminism, while I’m pretty sure young women are perfectly knowledgeable about what sex is and whether they feel like they want to have sex or not.
However, this only holds true if everything a feminist tells them is TRUTH. Anything that is a lie or misleading becomes misinformation/coercion.
And we know the many lies/misleading “facts” that feminists love using such as:
1) Wage gap myth
2) property ownership myth
3) 1 in 4 women are raped myth
By teaching young women that they are uneducated about their beliefs and thoughts and feelings and should listen to specious arguments that rely on misleading and outright false statistics and fallacies, feminists encourage young women to be exploited and manipulated.
They are teaching young women: “If you do not agree with me, then you are stupid and uneducated. Let me force you to change your mind with lies.”
What happens when a young woman meets a man she likes but is unready for sex? She might say “I’m not ready for sex” and then he can pressure her saying “No, no, you are uneducated about relationships and what they entail and how sex is really good for relationships.”
Thanks to feminists, a young woman will be pressured thinking “Well, feminists have taught me that I am uneducated and my opinions and thoughts don’t matter, so I should just agree with this man.”
I thought feminists hated that kind of thing?